Lord… I want to go so bad.
Help me surrender.
okay God… what!?
this just exposed a lot of different things… like my fear of rejection. my fear of being hurt. probably because it’s happened so many times already…
but there must be something deeper.
anyway… guard your heart m. guard it well with the Word of God.
Honestly, I’ve been secretly looking for reasons not to like him.
Whether it’s his clothes, his dorkiness, his myer briggs, thinking he likes someone, blahblahblah.
I think I’m just afraid of the feelings I’ll experience in my heart when I find out he likes someone else. I’m afraid of finding out that everything I’ve been thinking about is false.
However, this fear is irrational.
I need to be okay with however these feelings turn out. Whether or not they’ll be reciprocated or not… only GOD knows.
Help me to trust in YOU and YOU alone. Not in myself. Not in my thoughts. Not in my heart.
Lord, I surrender these feelings to you. Once again.
This will definitely happen again and again…
J is signed up for the days me and S have prayer requests. Again…. just a coincidence?
God, if it’s not a part of your will, then please take it away. I surrender these thoughts and feelings to you.
Help me break free.
likes the same music as me, loves to play sports, can play tennis (my dad wants to play tennis with my future husband), loves movies (isn’t afraid to cry in a good movie and talk about it either), INTERPRETS movies and likes to talk about them, grew up in a Christian home (and didn’t really experience God until later), has terrible vision, likes mint chocolate chip ice cream, thinks C is awkward, and has a desire to raise up leaders.
wants to do international work,
he was in a relationship with a korean girl that didn’t work out
i had shady biz with the rong guy
apparently there are a lot of japanese in h
i have a heart for japan
he’s friends with a girl with a huge heart for japan
i’m working working with students in this journey of becoming a teacher
he’s now working with students in an afterschool tutoring program
we both enjoy making people feel comfortable, and are good at it.
God can use all of this…
You, are funny God. Really funny.
You know my heart.
Thank You for protecting my heart in this season of my life.
God, my heart is first and foremost Yours.
Lead me to where I need to go.
I surrender these petty emotions to You.
Only You can give my heart to someone else.